Over the past two weeks, China has been in holiday mode celebrating
Chinese New Year or Spring Festival. It follows the lunar calendar and starts
the year of the Sheep/Goat here in China and other parts of Asia. This is the equivalent of the Christmas holiday season in the US. Everyone returns to their family or hometowns OR chose the option to travel with family. For a foreigner living in China, its the time you want to escape the crowds of travel and venture to relax...typically outside of China. Traveling is expensive, but this year I was fortunate to have a great friend (and travel agent) offer me a last minute deal to
Phu Quoc island, Vietnam. I was a little hesitate at first. The only person I knew going was my travel agent friend. I really didn't get many details about the trip, but the price was too good to pass up and it was the beach, sunshine and outside of China. I said sign me up! Let's go. The week ended up being an experience I will never forget...
Leaving for vacation is always exciting. I really didn't know what to expect as it was a last minute
decision. Always up for the adventure, I decided it was going to be sunshine and clean air and most importantly...the beach! My friend picked me up from my house to go to the airport. I was greet in the car by his parents who were also going on the trip. Upon arrival at the airport, I met more family members traveling to the same destination. It was a plane full from Chengdu to Phu Quoc...and I was the only laowai (foreigner).
Of course some would immediately be scared or intimidated by the pure fact that there was a huge language barrier between me and the other 180 passengers on the trip. However, the little Chinese I can speak along with funny smile, and sense of adventure already began to work the magic of a fun trip ahead. Let's explore and see what Vietnam has in store...That was my attitude.
Arriving in Phu Quoc was surreal. The weather was tropical, sunny and welcoming. The airport was small and modern and easy to maneuver through. We loaded the bus and headed to the resort after clearing customs. Here we go...let the vacation begin.
Jia You!
What would transpire over the next few days truly touched me and moved me. Still not fully understanding the significance of the Chinese New Year celebration, for me it was just a nice vacation time to escape the daily work life. Going with my friend, I learned a new aspect of family and developed friendships that hopefully will last a lifetime. When we disembarked from the buses at the resort, our luggage was handled by the staff as we were welcomed into the dining hall for breakfast. (It was 8am local time and we had been traveling overnight.) My arm was taken by my friend and welcomed at the table where his family was sitting. It was more "Ni Hao" and "hao chi" over the breakfast. Even with the language barrier, I immediately felt welcomed into the family and realized this was going to be a family vacation...I was just part of the family now. Following our breakfast, we gathered to claim our luggage, which had been grouped into families. Yes, I found my luggage grouped into my friend's family and off we went to check into our rooms for a little rest.
After our well needed nap and getting settled into the room, the family gathered and ventured to find some local lunch. As we entered a local restaurant, we gathered around a few tables and were excited to dive into some local Vietnamese cuisine. Looking over the menu, I was excited to see English and some great pictures of fresh seafood spring rolls, Pho, and other familiar dishes. What I found to be refreshing with the English menu, most of the family found difficult as they were unable to read the English. My friend (now often translator/guide) and I began to try and translate the various foods. Granted his translation was much more... accurate and better. After placing our order, the family started pulling out money and giving to my friend. They would pool their money together for the week for meals and group activities and have one person in charge of the finances. What a smart idea! I handed over my portion and another realization that I was part of the family fun now.
The following days would have various activities, meals and times together. We arrived in Phu Quoc with a group of about 180 from Chengdu, yet "our" family was about 9 plus one...me: the laowai. I have to say that the whole time, I was treated just like part of the family. Even my friend's parents, who spoke no English, would often just grab my arm or put their hand on my back and begin talking to me. It often lead me to look at my friend for translation or me speaking very simple Chinese to acknowledge that I didn't fully understand. This didn't matter...I was accepted and part of the family now.
On New Year's Eve, the hotel had a grand dinner set up for the entire group. I was a little uncertain as to what to expect from the evening dinner and celebration. What traditions or customs should I know before dinning? How was the evening going to progress and how do I act at a family dinner? What I encountered was family at its best. We sat around one large table that was already plated with snacks the family had brought from Chengdu. Local spicy beef, spicy tofu and pickled vegetables you find all around Sichuan. This was Chinese New Year and no celebration is complete without the traditional Bijou! The glasses were ready and the toasting began. The toasting wasn't just to drink, but to honor each person and their role as part of the family. After several rounds of toasting the bijou and eating our way through the delicious cuisine, my friend's parents stood to toast me. To say that I was touched and honored is an understatement. A huge smile came over my face. I was honored and humbled at the same time.
Honor is such a beautiful part of the culture I have seen while living here in Chengdu. Around the dinner table and throughout the week, I consistently witnessed the honor and respect given to my friend's parents. Everyone would make sure they were served and taken care of in every way. It reminded me of how this is sometimes missing back home in the U.S. This is not to say that we do not respect our elders or leave them to fend for themselves. Rather, the deep appreciation and honor given to the patriarchs of the family is a time long tradition that is beautiful and refreshing here. Within the last year while living in Chengdu, I lost my only remaining grandparent. Going back to the U.S for her funeral was expensive and exhausting. Yet, to honor my grandma for her 97 years of life and all that she had given our family, was priceless. My family is very traditional and conservative back in Tennessee. Witnessing and experiencing this week in Vietnam reminded me of my family and gave me a deeper appreciation for what family is really about.
Throughout the rest of the vacation, we traveled together to the beach, to dinners, to the night market of Phu Quoc and enjoyed relaxing times by the pool. As the week progressed, the family increased in numbers as others were soon made part of the family. We often say "'Tis the Season of Giving" during the Christmas holidays in the U.S. I felt the exact same spirit here. Giving not just in the unexpected
hong bao (red envelope filled with money) I received, but more importantly giving acceptance to a complete stranger during this special time of year.
This vacation was more that just a get away from the cold winter and pollution of Chengdu, it was a reminder of the true importance of family, acceptance and giving. It was opening of hearts and arms to a complete stranger (me) and become one of the family. Where I grew up in Tennessee, there is a famous saying of "Southern Hospitality" that welcomes strangers alike. I see this exact feeling here in Chengdu with the local friends and families I have meet. Welcoming one in with honor and respect and usually food or drink.
I have to say, this was the best Chinese New Year ever for me (only my second one in China). I went expecting to just relax and bask in the sun, yet what I received was open arms and becoming part of a family. The memories and experiences will never fade...unlike the great tan I got.
When we all arrived back to Chengdu, it was bitter sweet saying goodbye to all the new friends and family that I had met. With the may exchanges of every one's WeChat (Weixin) the connection is not lost. We still all stay in touch and share funny memories. Thankfully WeChat has a translation application making it easier to stay connected. Looking back now, I see that my friend/travel agent not only invited me to go along on vacation, but truly invited me to be part of the family. This I will never forgot and now know that I have a Chengdu family of my own. Xie Xie ni wo de pengyou!
